vision: impaired

i really don't have any excuses for this one, folks. straight to dvd? that should have stopped me in my tracks. but what can i say, i'm a sucker for the visually impaired, like myself.

this one was pretty bad. chris pines' character (danny) is blind (who'd've thought!?). for some reason this makes him un-datable. he's sick of being a virgin and of being blind so he signs himself up for some experimental surgery and enlists his superficial brother to help him snag the ladies. bad idea on both accounts. right before the surgery he falls in love with a girl (leeza) at his doctors office. she's indian, and apparently this is a big deal. she's in an arranged marriage against her will (aren't we all?) but still doesn't feel it necessary to tell danny this until he is head over heels for her. {insert unimpressive obstacles here} much to no one's surprise leeza shuns her cultures' age-old traditions and professes her love for danny. blah blah blah. what else is new?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
blind dating: c-

-t

another one bites the [star]dust

firstly, can i preface this with a little side note? in case you hadn't noticed, i do not enjoy giving bad reviews to movies. i like to think of my rating system on a scale of acceptable/disappointing to orgasmic. i like to stick with the positives. i don't normally like to think of movies as being "bad", but don't get me wrong, there are bad movies (titanic, 2001: aso, pi). i guess what i'm trying to get at here is that some of my reviews may be slightly skewed in the positive direction. i try to be as accurate as possible, but some movies that really deserve a d might squeak in with a c-. as long as i feel that they (everyone involved) tried to make the best movie they could i'm going to add on some points for effort. not every film can be atonement, so i instigate a grading curve, if you will.

now with that said...

i feel like stardust did try to make a good/cute sci-fi romance flick. try is the operative word here. firstly, i could not get over how lame the special effects were. they were bad. low-budget bad. charile cox, the lead male, was cute. not a horrible actor, but i've seen better. robert deniro was the only saving grace as a cross dressing pirate.

i had a real problem with claire danes. she was unconvincing and half-hearted in her delivery. while the "love speech" was nicely written, claire was actually physically ugly when she was giving it. i don't know why, but her face was just grotesquely contorted so that it seemed like she was in pain whilst confessing her love for tristan. also didn't like michelle pfeiffer very much.

i'm really not sure why it got a pg-13 rating.... would have been safe with a pg. the "violence" was laughable and the "risque humor" was non-existent.

i pity "bad" movies, therefore...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

stardust - c-

-t